I Need A Hug - May 03, 2004

last night, i wound up screaming at issac. this is not something that's really ever happened. i just don't scream at people.

what happened was that aubrey called me, very distraught, in tears, because she'd broken up with her boyfriend. later on, i told my parents she might be calling late, and issac was there. he asked, and i told him that she broke up with her boyfriend. when i told him why, he started going on about it, and when i was trying to explain why, he shut me down and told me he didn't respect anything i had to say about the issue. first off, i can't stand it when people won't let me talk. secondly, he got pissed off about something that didn't even concern him just because of an entirely separate situation in his own life.

he kept refusing to let me say anything until i just burst and laid into him. i felt both bad and good, because i didn't really mean to do that, but i had been storing it up. i do also feel bad because i think i took some frustration out on him that i've been feeling in my life lately. i keep thinking that i just want to quit school. i feel like i'm trapped; i feel like i can't do anything while i'm in school to better my situation.

i really want someone to just hug and comfort me right now, but i don't feel like i have it. i feel like a burden sharing my feelings with other people, because everyone's got crap of their own to deal with. and it's not like issac's not dealing with crap right now himself. the only one i can talk to right now is God, but God even knows we need human companionship too.

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