A New Philosophy - October 26, 2004

i wrote this little thing last night and i wanted to post it. it seems as though i never can write what i want when i'm here at school, but when i get home, it comes out. i think that accounts for a lack of depth in entries since the comp at home got bugged up. anyway, here goes.

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i was thinking about the thing with craig. the whole time, i felt really nothing for him. i tried, i even thought i might like him a little, but then i'd kiss him and all that'd be running through my head was, "i really feel nothing for this guy!"

really, he's not the best example, but i haven't really allowed myself to develop new feelings for a long time. i don't want to. i've loved people who just couldn't love me back. the pain that brought is almost so great, i'd rather be numb than experience it again.

lately, my philosophy has done a 180�. in high school, i changed my thinking to that i had to talk to guys i liked to get anywhere. now, i don't want to get anywhere, so i'm a renewed fan of the "from afar" crush. if there's even someone around worth paying attention to...

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isn't that just a heartwarming ray of sunshine? but it's real. it's how i feel right now. i'm big on friendships, but not so much on any other kind of relationship. hey, i might change my tune depending on the opportunities that present themselves, but who knows. i'm not holding my breath.

anyway, i've got much to do today, and i need to get to work!

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I Like Your Sleeves - April 07, 2005

Sucking At This - March 10, 2005

Why So Nervous? - March 03, 2005

Eased, Excited, and Enriched - February 02, 2005