Why So Nervous? - March 03, 2005

i decided to write because i don't write often anymore and jamie was just saying that no one ever updates anymore. it's true. i used to be the one who updated everyday...although i don't know if i should brag about that.

most of the time, there's not really much to write about anyway. now, i have a tiny bit of something. i kind of have a little crush. it's this guy who's in two of my classes. he's just sooo cute...but it snuck up on me and smacked me over the head one day in psych.

anyway, i have class in 15 minutes with him and he sits by me. so far, i've only managed to speak to him on a few minor occasions: thanking him for returning my pen, answering some question about the lecture, and asking the date. i'd been petrified of saying anything else and my mind would go completely blank of any possible conversation topics. i feel like high school again.

i used to be able to do better, but i think since shane, i've seriously doubted myself. well, i always have, but the way things went with shane really affected the way i saw myself. it's like there was this mentality that if i talk to a guy, he'll think something i say is stupid. and if he does like me, he won't like me as much and eventually he'll tire of me.

even in my dreams, guys reject me. i had this dream this week where i was kissing this guy, then it changed scenes and suddenly he didn't even want to talk to me. i also had a dream that i got to have ben affleck for a night, but i kept thinking he wouldn't want me unless i got him alcohol. that's especially odd, because why would my brain pick ben affleck, of all the celebrities it could pick?

anyway, i'd better be going to class now.

<--->

Blog On - May 05, 2005

I Like Your Sleeves - April 07, 2005

Sucking At This - March 10, 2005

Why So Nervous? - March 03, 2005

Eased, Excited, and Enriched - February 02, 2005